but everyone shows me faces

le back! snowboarding was amazing. snowboarding while it snowed was even more amazing. snowboarding while 30mph winds blew me over not really. found it all quite fun despite the supposedly below par condition of mammoth this year.

and now i'm brought down once again to the realization that shitshitshit. i did NOT do well my first quarter of el college.

to make it worse. my parents went nuts and practically drowned me in christmas presents this year. yes i count the frigging snowboard and gear crap as well. wtf i'm sure in total it peaked over a thousand bucks.

why. whywhywhywhywhy

nice to meet you, i'm losing my head

off snowboarding in about 7 more hours. should be excited like crazy but strangely enough am now having a rather bad bout of random feelings of intense loneliness.

small matters. anyhow, be back the 28th peeps.

ohyes. with a continuation of my d00m of the past part II.

enter the medicine handed down

new band teacher announced:

introducing 11. O'Brien

apparently is a professional clarinet player. seeing as his name is O'something, perhaps of irish decent. hrm. ups his status a bit for me. we'll see how this plays out.

besides that, officially screwed my classes over. feel a bit sick over it. let's not think about it, it makes me wanna curl into a ball and die. instead. i will recount my few days before my d00m just because i meant to and never got to.

i have to say with much remorse that the best i'd done on my finals was probably for american novel. three hours of nonstop writing till the point where my brain melted, and i now have no memory whatsoever of what i wrote at all. only that my hand and ass hurt after the test. a lot.

immediately afterwards began the preparation for math0rz. the final i did worst on. sadly enough, it should've been a review of ap calc only...it wasn't. was doing such a great job staying on top of it till i started panicking the wed night before which culminated with me attempting to go to bed early so my mind could be clear for my death ahead.

said my goodnights at 12:30 or so and climbed into bed. one of my roomies went to sleep soon after but the other unfortunately had a paper due the next day. she borrowed my desk lamp so that we could turn off the main lights except..you must understand that my desk lamp is horribly bright and her effort was in vain.

also don't know why but was horribly sensitive to light and sound that night. perhaps it was cause i was panicking...perhaps it was cause it was stress...but it was the beginning of the longest night of my time at college thus far.

for hours i lay awake, trying to force myself to sleep. the harder i tried, the worse it got. the pitterpattering of my roomie's fingers on her keyboard and the humming of her laptop almost drove me insane. suppressing my urge to cry out in despair only encouraged the restless feeling in me to grow stronger.

after what seemed like ages, my roomie finally decided to stop her paper temporarily and go to sleep. it was around 3am. shit. i thought. 8am final on a horribly shakey subject of mine...which actually requires sleep. i'm fucked. trying not to moan in agony at this thought, i try once again to relax and sleep.

of course it doesn't work. my roomie usually has latelatenight phonecalls with her boyfriend before she goes to sleep in her bed and sometimes all through the night. usually i'm fine with it but this night was just ridiculous for me. every mutter every whisper pushed me closer to the edge of insanity.

eventually the convo ended and i sighed with relief. but then again, it was too late to go back. i was already fated to a horrible night of restlessness. the sounds of my roomie's movements in bed as she tried to sleep now carried themselves to my ears and entered in amplified waves.

even worse, a neighbor who lived right across from us had just walked out of her room, situating herself right outside our door with a troubled phonecall from her boyfriend. never realized how thin the walls were until that night.

i could hear every single fucking thing she said. it was another one of those stupid fights that couples have when distance makes one side scared and the other make decisions without the other's approval and etc. and what's worse, in all her distress, what began as earnest and annoyed whisperings, eventually grew to ridiculously loud angry bursts of frustration. ogod.

unable to keep still anymore from my own frustration, i began to roll around like crazy, no longer caring what my roomies would think or if it disturbed anyone. i plugged my ears, blindfolded myself, squeezed my eyes horribly tight, held my head into the pillow till i had no choice but to come up and gasp for air, did pushups in my bed in an effort to tire myself out, slept with my head where usually are, hung my head off the side of the frame, even attempted to sleep perpendicular to the length of the bed, hanging my head off the bed and having my legs sprawled up against the wall so that if you took a pic of me and turned it on its side, it'd look like i was sitting down on the floor with my hair blown back by a giant fan of some sort.

god how i can still hear the annoying protests and retorts from that night. this guy ben better have had a good reason to strike up such a heated argument with my neighbor. same goes for her.

pissed, disoriented, and starting to feel the bags under my eyes swell, i swung off my bed and stomped to the door to peer out and see what the fuck was going on. i had my mind set to swing open the door and lash out in a most undignified manner but upon seeing my neighbor sitting there against the wall at this point, almost to the point of tears i lost the heart to.

i turned with my back to the wall, knocked my head against it in a moment of despair, and slid down ending up in a pititfully curled position with my head locked between my knees and my hands clenched, punching my head softly. i myself was to the point of tears at this point.

of course this cues my roomie's boyfriend to call again and start up another convo. voices started filling my head from all over. whisperings, songs, mutterings, an occassional yell. repressing the screams inside of me, i only allowed myself to sigh really loudly and began banging my head against the wall as softly as i could in hopes that it would give me a sufficient headache too make me dizzy enough to sleep no matter what.

it didn't work. my head hurt but only for a few seconds. impatient, stressed beyond belief, wanting to but unable to cry, i did as many pushups as i could before collapsing and just laying in the middle of the filthy floor of our little hallway fantasizing the thought of just sleeping there for the night.

but after thinking it over, i thought it would disturb my other roomie when she woke in the morning and make her concerned which i was not very keen on. by this time, my roomie's convo was over and my neighbor's had just ended with a loud ben, why the fuck are you going to hang up on me all of the sudden. and a sniffle.

i won't lie. i was hoping the guy would be true to his word right when i heard those words. bitter and angry yet resigned and defeated, i decided to climb into bed fight out the rest of the night there. ironically, it was just at the thought of fine. i don't fucking care anymore. in fact, i'll just watch the sunrise and fail my test. that i finally lost consciousness at 5-something am.

woke up feeling as if i didn't sleep at all, took my test, was shocked to find it was nothing like any form of calc i had ever done in my life. nothing you'd ever see on any normal ap exam.

after flipping to the first problem, finding it rather difficult i went it's okay, next one. i'll come back. flipping to the next problem i see the first part and am like there you go see? easy. only to come across another obstacle on the next part. okay. fliptime.

eventually i found myself flipping page after page until there were no more pages to flip and come back to. fuck, i thought. fuckfuckfuck. laughing an omgkillmenow laugh softly and causing the person next to me to steal a disturbed glance at me, i flipped randomly to a page and started cranking out the most elaborate crap i had ever done so for the field of mathematics.

of course elaborate crap doesn't work for math no matter how impressive it looks. and i was d00med no matter how much my pencil touched the surface of that damned exam. whatever the hell i did, it was absolutely not calculus. as time ran out, my exam got increasingly crowded with grey scribbles. half of each page was also filled with starts with no ends, random calculations, and halfway-solved problems that hit a dead end and that had no choice but to be painfully crossed out entirely.

time's up, test is turned in and never seen again. people are giggling together at how impossible it was. a few with smug looks are like it was actually okay. and others who expected to fail anyways were just plain happy to be done.

stepping out into the bright sunshine which blinded me and the chilly wind that cut under my skin, i felt nothing else but utter shock. as i walked numbly down the walk back to the center of campus, everything went in slow motion. it was pretty trippy. but not.

this recollection of such d00m is taking too much emotional output from me. will continue later.

hide your bad habits underneath the patio

finalz finally over and i think i'm almost recovered from its nonstopgiggling aftereffects. american nov killed my hand, math..um., and i shoulda pwned sex more than it pwned me. not bad for a first round of college finals. heh.

shiz. i just got kinda hungry. will eat and finish post later.

...oops. k. it's like 11pm now. i got distracted. and then was convinced to go to tennis team banquet which was awesome cause i was introduced as "coolest senior on the team last year"(...except there were only two so um. didn't really count) to the confused freshman. also sasha was poopy and wasn't there cause of soccer. as usual.

then went to find bindings for my board. which was hard cause ride apparently makes their shoe wider than burton's and after all this other shiz, ended up getting shoes and bindings. ogod. going all burton now with full on jacket(for an amazingly good price btw, thanks skiexpo'06), board, bindings and shoes. it's gonna be sweet beyond words...if only it'd start snowing a bit more in o'mammoth >:0

monterey park for some glorious asian food. and now back. chillin to the postal service on my (omghowissoundqualitythisgoodpossible)stereo. but only after attempting to skateboard outside...failing to the wet and cold after 5 min.

pretty sure my mom is stalking death cab for cutie and researching like hell on skateboards and freebords after finding out those two interests of mine. it's kinda amusing.

also stole my roomie's snare sticks and pad. another addition to the taiko sticks i stole from another person and jeanine's guitar. room looks awesomely cluttered. been carrying around the sticks and pad wherever i go these days...even on family excursions, drumming everything in sight cause...when someone puts two sticks in your hand, it's the only natural thing to do.

i think my parents' heads are about to blow from the persistent thuds. actually to think about it. i think my sis also wants really badly to grab the sticks from my hands and wack me over the head with them everytime i start up. hrm. perhaps a sign to be more considerate and stop?

NAH.

anyways. if only they'd let me play percussion for band 7 yrs ago...they probably wouldn't have to suffer so much now. totally justified. totally. XD

also convinced that i can only take my family in small doses. which is why i'm noticeably "happier"and act strangely silly to them now. won't lie. did feel a sense of freedom i'd never felt before in college that also had noticeable upbeat sideeffects on my person that even i could tell. give it a couple more weeks and i'll most likely reverse back into the mopey unpleasant self of the past. or at least that's my hypothesis. shall see how it goes. except it could also not work cause i'll always have the thought that my college refuge is only a short while away.

hm. that last thought was kinda sad. and mean. can't really help the way i feel though. =/

now for chillin part continued.

and all he gave was a daughter

10. PAVIA

bwahaha halfway there to keeping the tradition alive. keep on truckin' (pre-lsjumb)band. you make us proud.

also, most of you already know but in addition to finals, the school decides to also throw our rooming contracts for next school year in our face at the same time...despite the fact that most of us are still dazed and getting situated to this year's fugging rooming.

and then something pleasant like mass identity theft happens and they send out some email that's very akin to this:

DEAR FRIEND, (i almost thought the email was fake cause they called me "friend" wtf.)

someone really really good at hacking into computer systems got into the main system here and they now probably have all your files including your friends', familys', acquiantances', distant relatives', one night stands', pets', and all their mothers' as well. i'm sorry to inform you that you, and probably everyone you know or ever knew, are screwedededed like no other and perhaps you, and the rest of the world in fact, should put your whole life on hold. here's some shit that will help you to do so even though you're probably a wee little student and meddling with these kind of banking matters and such is not the first thing you want bothering your mind right now.

nevermind that it's finals week or anything. or that you were already very stressed out and probably something like this happening could make your brain explode. oh. and goodluck with finding roomies and filling out those apps(and give us money). the deadline is coming up soon. please get your ass going.

p.s. oh, and btw, it's probably not our fault because this was a person who's really really really really really(x100) good at hacking into computers (have we mentioned that already?).
k bye.

your friend, (did i mention that i was your friend already? well, please remember that i am)
(friend)norman abrams.
(friendly)acting chancellor
(but please, call me normy...after all i am your friend)(don't hurt me pleez)

so that's why they mysteriously disallowed using social sec and pin numbers for logging in a few weeks ago. sweet0rz.

since i'm already screwdeded in all aspects of my life. forget the fact that i have a final tomorrow morning. here's the survey ima steal from vic =D

1) Was 2006 a good year for you?
um. like all things in life for me...don't really remember.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
i think it will be coming up pretty soon :)

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
hall. if that was last year. herby? people departing?

4) Where were you when 2006 began?
megan's house going...*sings* "and i don't feel any different"

5) Who were you with?
friendlies. when am i ever not. XD

6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?
PARTYING DUH. stalking friends mebbe. or perhaps...*sings* "so this is the new year" you can finish that one.

7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
most likely friendlies again. shiz i should stop this stalking thing. perhaps it creeps people out. NAH

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006?
PSHAAHAHA what resolutions?

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
um. not die? that would be cool.

10) Did you fall in love in 2006?
shuddup i'm asexual okay?

11) If yes, with who?
YOU you goddamn muthaf-

12) If yes, do they know?
i dunno. DO you?

14) Did you have fun in 2006?
sure why not. my life's a party like that.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2006?
probably like 50 times cause youknow. i'm just that hot.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2006?
i guess that's something that just happens when you go to college.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
shiz. um. marissa, the roomies, timmy, taylor. um. shiz haha no guarantee we'll keep in contact after we're forced apart again. optimistic is my middle name, bitches.

18) What was your favorite month of 2006?
wtf. what a hard question. i usually like december i guess.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2006?
japan and taiwan baby. [edit] wow. so totally forgot about europe. um. that seemed like ages ago already. told you i forget things easily. stfu. i was not drunk when i wrote this. >:0

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2006?
um. probably like. none. whore.

21) Did you lose anyone close to you in 2006?
NOGODDAMMITLEAVEMEALONEYOUJUSTWANNAPICKONME TOMAKEYOURSELFFEELBETTER. actually not really, loser.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
um. mebbe. did i mention that i h8 you?

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006?
babel's good. half nelson in another sense too. um. pick one. probably the only one's i saw.

24) What was your favorite song from 2006?
from? what's that mean. like that came out? psh none. discovered "title track" by death cab though.

25) What was your favorite record from 2006?
i have a feeling i'll be aquiring quite a few soon.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2006?:
you. are such a bully. JEANINE AND PAUL BETTER SHUDDUP.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2006?
just to let you know, i'm giving you the death glare right now.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006?
UM. in what context...o_0

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?
alcohol. is a drug my friend. THANK YOU ALCOHOLEDUMYLOVER.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2006?
ohlots. you know. i'm just a pimpasswhore like that. wtf did i just say.

31) Did you lose anything important this year?
probably some brain cells har har har. *rolls eyes*

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2006?
was never particularily good at distinguishing lies from truths.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006?
probably so. i'm not a very good person really.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2006?
also probably so. life's just a cycle of bitterness. bwahaha

36) How much money did you spend in 2006?
lots. fooding and stuff. then college. i'm pretty damn expensive. shiz.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2006?
yoyo semiotics in herby sadly enough. didn't totally screw up a (mini)presentation for the first time in years. and people LAUGHED. such glory. whether it was at me or not doesn't matter XD

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
hall. if that was this year. it all blurs together. actually no. it wasn't cause i was juggling tennis at the same time. thasright. had a game that day. hrm. whatev. it's all i remember. i'm a very bitter person. go die in a hole you scumbag. wish you became a politician that everyone disliked instead and then got assassinated. wow. so much hate down in here. could probably kill babies just with the mere thought of how much hate's in here.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
my fugging diet dude.

40) What are your plans for 2007?
not fail outta school would be rather nice i feel. to do better than not fail would be even nicer.

[edit]

10. PAVIA

i salute the band.

the proof that love's not only blind but deaf

fuggernuts! why won't i work.
deadweek continues with more chilling and less studying.

last night. my floormate sent me this (read it closely):

yes. someone was apparently estatic about hedrick(where i live) dining hall being open for the weekend. basically...cause we're at the top of the hill, no one comes up here and it is never open. the fact that they were so excited that they forgot to post what they were serving amuses me even more.

since my floormate was tempted by de neve's serving restaurant food and we were both so amused by hedrick's being open AND my floormate had like 28394 meal swipes to get rid of...we decided to dining hall hop. ohgod.

it was also starting to drizzle XD

so we eat a plate at each destination, working our way from the bottom at de neve and finishing up top at hedrick. was much satisfied with the seafood thingy from the restaurant at de neve and the udon at hedrick. so full. so full.

upon getting back roomie, "V", was all like "A" got some alcohol from a friend of hers. she says we can have some. this is hilarious i think because ironically, all 3 of us initially applied stating that we were "abstainers" and wanted to be roomed with abstainers. and here we are fascinated by the stuff.

basically it was quite a few bottles of ale and some greenapple vodka. "V" asks "A" over the phone if we can have some and a deal is struck up. if we left the room for an hour to her and her boyfriend to have some alone time, we'd be allowed to take a shot of vodka and two bottles of ale along with us. we agree because we're excited despite well knowing we'd have nowhere to go. "V" takes the electric guitar, i take her drum sticks and pad.

"A" gets back with her boyfriend and we each try the vodka. then i pack the goods in my backpack and "V" and i are off. we wander into a couple of the halls in hopes of finding a music room open but alas. no luck. we run outta ideas and wander to the back of our dorm...into sunset rec (basically an area with lots of recreation swimming pools, tennis courts, open fields, etc).

it starts raining a bit more so we run and end up seeking shelter in the parking lot. we set our stuff down and proceed to look like sad poor students. as it is public area...and a police dude was patrolling the area, we decide not to bust out the ales.

it starts pouring. and though i am quite happy about it. i realize we are a little ways off from our dorm...and due to the architecture of the building, realized that rain was trickling all over my backside, a bit of the guitar and drum pad, and backpack. we seek shelter for a bit more and decide it's time to brave the rain somehow and get our asses back to the dorms.

we realize there was the problem of the guitar and are like oshiz. "V" ended up taking off her jacket and covering the body of the thing as it was slung around her body. then we stuck the neck of the guitar into my sweatshirt pocket....and ran.

both with cheap slippers on, looking ridiculous, giggling like mad, and joined at our midsection running through the pouring rain in the middle of nowhere, there were quite a few times where we almost went down hard into the drenched pavement. luckily, i'm also quite a ways larger than "V"...and the guitar, in size and weight and usually managed to stay upright even when "V" had no choice but to grab onto me as she slipped backwards.

we made it back eventually. passing peeps inside laughed at our strange sight and others gave us surprised looks like wtf it's that wet outside?? once back in the room again, "A" felt bad at our sad states and offered more vodka. hilarious.

we have another shot together and the couple leaves for a club. "V" and i chill...i'm all OMG studyyyy but only succeed in drinking the ale i obviously earned from the night...and feeling really hot in the back of my neck. damn asian glow.

decided that i wasn't quite tipsy since i walked straight and talked and thought normally. but upon going to the bathroom discovered my entire body was red and that i was slightly more sensitive to light and sound. perhaps that's what people call buzzed. it was trippy and obviously i need to post about it.

during this whole time it's still pouring rain and you can hear people celebrating outside and going insane. it's rather hilarious.

nyways, got sleepy as i usually do no matter how much alcohol i have and decided to "study"...in my bed. knew perfectly well i'd fall asleep...which i did, with 6 books and a printout sprawled all over me. woke up shortly after "V" was kind enough to close my bedlight for me(oops) and the room light as well...which left me confused as to wtf happened.

well, i got up, did a bit of hygiene stuffs and climbed back into bed. the couple returns and i lose consciousness. but only to regain it an hour later to discover they weren't asleep yet. the whispering and serious conversation...as well as my body's frigging burning temperature keeps me up for another hour. worst night of sleep ever. i almost decided to sleep sprawled out on the floor...in the hallway, and wished nudity wasn't taboo.

somehow konked out again and woke today quite comfortably and ready for a good shower.

so here i am. all clean and ready for a fjdaklfewgreatlastdayofstudyingbefored00mjdkalf. but before that...i realize it's already 10:30 and TIME FOR F00D. k bye.

the least they ever gave you, was the most you ever knew

it's only been a few days and despite it being dead week...i've probably had some of the most chill days in college. nevermind the part about me being screweded later.

so tues/wed? night/morning..as some may have found from my bitching on facebook, the fugging fire alarm went off throughout the entire dorm at the unearthly hour of 4:30am. and ironically on the one night i decide to sleep earlier at 1. it's all a bit sketchy in my mind but i remember only initially half waking to the siren's wailing.

i don't make much sense when i'm groggy and such so after realizing the sound wasn't coming from a dream and wasn't going to stop any time soon, i...literally plugged my ears with my fingers, closed my eyes, and attempted to go back to sleep. amazing thing was, the sound became pretty soothing to my ears and almost lulled me back to sleep.

but only to be aroused again by some weak voice in the back of my head that feebly asked. hey. isn't that a fire alarm...and don't they usually mean there's a fire. but maybe it's just an asshole prank. bitches.

after some halfconscious deliberation...i concluded that fuggit. it was probably a drunk asshole. and if not...hell didn't seem like such a bad tradeoff for a glorious night of continued sleep at the moment. and money? well if i really did die, the school can't charge me a buck anyways. i let out a content sigh and relax again.

but only to be aroused this time by my roomies. in a blur, i grab the closest sweater nearby and start toward the door. only to be pulled back by a roomie who yelled to me over the siren put on some shoes!! confused and dumb, i slowly nod my head, grunt, and start again towards the door without registering the words.

a hand grabs my arm, swings me around, and just as parents would to a stubborn child, my roomie repeats again slowly and sternly to my unresponsive brain, NO!! put. on. some. shoes!!!

after clumsily making my way through the halls and down the stairs, my eyes focus a bit and i look down at myself closely for the first time. my current pjs consist of the gloriously(shiny) golden yellow basketball shorts i got from a school sale and light blue track shirt. in all my hotness i just happened to grab my bright yellow ucla sweatshirt. the one that my parents think is fugly and should be burned. i soon realized, with much horror, that i looked like a fugging bright yellow jelly bean with ucla inscribed all over.

in an attempt to look less jellybeanish, i tried to throw a bit of color in by pulling down my inside shirt...only the realize that to do so was only to accentuate my uclaness due to the light blue nature of my frigging shirt. yuh. i looked more spirited than the spirit squad that morning.

i eventually come to peace with this but mostly because i became too distracted by the cold. after huddling for an hour, they finally let us back in. we plop back into our beds and are out.

apparently, unlike last year in which this happened, it was not due to a dead week prank but actually to built up lint in the laundry dryers that started smoking. figures.

******
more secret santa events. my floor secret santa gave me a shot glass. cause obviously he thinks i'm going to be a drunkard(psha). my secret santa gift (the magnetic thingy mr nelson has in his room) was a success much to my satisfaction. pretty much..everyone was jealous of my person mwahah.

my nsu santa got me death cab for cutie's "we've got the facts and we're voting yes" and a poster from a nickelodeon cartoon(which i might be able to fit on my wall..sideways). after the nsu dinner we also got little bags of goodies too...candy, clocks, homemade ornaments and picture frames, the works. yay.

people have been treating me to pizza and buffalo wings like crazy alldayeveryday in efforts to get rid of their meal swipes by the end of the quarter. begging for permission to treat others to meals are also common these days. this happens so much so that i have had no chance to use up my basic 11 meals for this week as well. dammit.

*****
last latenight was probably one of the chillest times here so far. went with a friend to "study" in canyon point lounge (where i swear, all the christian koreans live). basically we fooled around on aim and ate pizza. got back to the dorm and found one of my roomies, V, trying to pick the guitar. she asks me if i'm busy and if i could teach her a bit. tempted by the thought of playing the guitar instead of working, i consent. and it turns out to be a blast.

was also talking to a floormate on aim who was like OMG SO BORED DONT WANNA WORK, so i invite her too and it's a party. all it took was an electric guitar, acoustic guitar, ultimate-guitar.com, itunes and 3 excited girls to forget all about quiet hours. my other roomie, A, joins in here and there.

as 1am hit, we somehow eye my taiko sticks and transition to the subject of drumming. V, who was a drummer(tenor) in her marching band and should technically be in the band now (still don't understand her final decision), takes out her snare sticks, stuff happens, and in a jiffy my dream of finally learning to drum was finally happening.

she teaches me how to drum marching band form, how to properly roll, and then some songs from her thick binder of ucla band music from summer tryouts. our floormate leaves sometime in the middle. we get really into it and literally drum for more than an hour nonstop on the floor, her using my taiko sticks, me using her snare sticks. it felt so damn good just holding these instruments in our hands and feeling the band vibe of our pasts. we reminisce about band while we play: the funny times, the geeks (shiz it is agreed band geeks are the best), the frustrations, and general musical stuff.

all of the sudden at around 2am, a really loud knocking occurs at our door. V and i instantly freeze with looks like 0_0 oshiz on our faces and frantically shove the sticks under her bed. she runs to the door to look through the doorhole, runs back giggling in panic, hides in her bed and is like OMG. A REALLY PISSED OFF GUY IS OUT THERE!! i instantly run and hide in my cave of a desk. both of us scared shitless, all we can do is giggle and make A answer the door(poorthing).

at first A was all wtf why me but finally gives in. from my desk i hear this booming voice as she opens the door. WHO'S MAKING NOISE IN THERE.

poor roomie: (lost and confused) heh heh ummm.
guy: ARE YOU DRUMMING IN THERE >:000
roomie: well...(looks back)..giggles nervously
us: *frantically giggles profusely*
roomie: well I'M not *tries to hold in laughter*
guy: (ticked off even more) *some pissed off yeah no kidding noise* IS ANYONE DRUMMING IN THERE
roomie: (basically...meep!)

so my roomie mutters some kind of apology, it's over, and we thank her repeatedly for taking the heat. apparently it was some big muscular white dude, from the room below us, who stood the whole time with his hands crossed and feet shoulder length apart with this really pissed off look on his face...and his little asian roomie who stood in back, mimicking his stance.

we basically giggled like crazy the whole rest of the night. i could barely shower cause i was so ticklish from embarrassment. after, we all got into bed and somehow got into talking about personal stuff till like 3am...kinda like how middle schoolers at sleepovers do. i guess i don't reveal much about myself or something cause V later said for the second time since school started, with a satisfied sigh, you're really interesting.

and for the second time it caught me off guard again. not knowing what to say in response again...i probably sounded really awkward and dumb with my wtflaugh and a lame no i'm not! comeback. anyways. it was a night of some roomie bonding (as V dubbed it), which...to think about it, we've never had before.

and it's true i guess. people still ask me from time to time how my roomies are. and i always just reply they're nice. cause they are. but i've never had much to say about them. either cause i...was in the same room as them at the time of the phonecall. or cause i've distanced myself a bit and didn't feel justified to say much about it(which i still don't really). but whatev. there's a glimpse of one of our rare moments of more involved interaction.

so...so far these are some conclusions made about me (and for some reason most of the conclusions were about me that night):
1. i take very quick showers (and don't use many...girl products)...yay hygiene? heh heh
2. (from past actually...randomly as i got out of shower and found the two staring at me) they "hate" me because i have straight shiny hair...that's low maintenance even after short showers.
3. i am the way i am as a rejection to what my parents wanted (V likes to psychoanalyze peeps or something).. isn't everyone?
4. i'm a late bloomer (this whole not having a crush thing ever is probably what people usually find most fascinating le sigh)
5. i don't talk much. (but break through and you'll wish you never did)
6. i study a lot (wtf?)
7. i nap a lot and don't sleep much (hilarious)
8. i sleep "like a dead person." awesome.

there. that's mostly what i'd say to you if i was to inform you extendedly about my current life. goodjob for getting through it all. so hard. so tired now. guess i can't study afterall :P

but um...yeah. band is awesome.

[edit]
also almost forgot. roomie (A) also discovered the shoe youtube. we all watched it communally the other day. it made my day.

stay all night, we'll save the population

so much chaos this past weekend i get tired just thinking about trying to remember it all.

sooo...of course there was the game against usc. which was quite amazing since we actually won. lots of insanity, hate cussing, sweat, obscene gestures, crowding, screaming, noise in general, mockery, etc. i probably almost died just trying to get in. you know how it is when people get roudy. and then the whole entire stadium and mile radius around it reeked of alcohol.

the place was utterly packed. and i thought the other games were crowded. gives you a headache just seeing it. some peeps and i were late cause we were smart and decided to eat lunch first. managed to catch the last bus and discovered that old people that probably don't even go to the school also take the bus too.

as we got closer to the stadium, people started singing and going crazy and yelling out windows and stuffs, probably upsetting the old peeps and encouraging inappropriate responses from the people being yelled at. sad thing is. it's kinda hard being a usc fan when...there aren't any really good jokes to yell back. but it's funny to watch 18 yr old freshman banter with 40 yr old men.

by the time we'd gotten off the bus, the crowd was absolutely ridiculous. by the time we got to the student gate, it was dangerous. it was hot and sweaty and after the fighter jets flew over the stadium and the game officially began, people started getting very angry. so they started pushing. i was almost mauled over. also got beer all over my left foot ew. people got smushed into gates, some yelled in pain but no one heard or cared. all i could think about was never to come to another la/sc game again. or at least come very, very early.

we ended up in the standing student section where there was a drunk man in front of me, a drunk man (also half nekkid with a blue exclamation mark on his chest) behind me, and one of my drunk floormates....continuously running back and forth on our row...hugging, punching, and high-fiving all of us every 5 sec or so. the drunk man in front eventually started vomitting and finally collapsed unconscious on the bench while the drunk man behind kept losing his balance and needing to grab my shoulders for support.

our team gets off to a good start and people are w00t. they kinda keep winning by a thread.. tensions go up. by halftime it's pretty wild. it's so noisy that the collective cheers are drowned out by the battling bands which are drowned out by the random yelling and screaming which are drowned out by the collective cheers...into a big muddled mass of blurgh.

we win, stadium booms with excitement, and everyone rushes down in the direction of the field despite the notice on the big screen before "spectators are reminded they are not allowed on the field." i myself am forced into a row or two ahead. people in the front are peppersprayed and tear gassed and could be found later in the bathrooms screaming in pain. a few fans make it onto the field esp. this one dude who had four guards chasing after him until finally one guard literally jump tackled the guy outta nowhere from the right at full speed. the crowd gasped and cheered for the dude. all the while the band played and danced in joy.

i'm also pretty sure some peeps cried with joy. and some sc peeps um. well for opposite reasons. most just looked paralyzed in disbelief. afterall...it's pretty much the one thing they count on every year. it was kinda enjoyable really. (i learn later that also caught on tv was a sc cheerleader cheering for one of our field goals on accident while her mates stood around like wtf? hilarious)

finally on the bus, it became deathly quiet cause everyone literally konked out in exhaustion...and in preparation for afterparty celebrations.

yuh. stuff happens, ambulances and police everywhere, westwood is overcrowded apparently, RAs are on duty all night, parties galore. however my floor takes it pretty tame and we have some fun just eating dinner and then having taylor k(actually sarah's bro...the one i did track with and who TAed for my math class..and i never knew was related to sarah till i met him again here) order us all pizza, soda, and buffalo wings with his excess meal swipes (the guy seriously doesn't eat). i also made him get me my own personal order of buffalo wings. shiz i ate a lot.

law&order, southpark, taboo, brainsmorgorieorsomething, chilling, etc. during my first turn up for taboo, i'm nervous as heck. time starts, i frantically turn the card and hold my breath. i literally gasped in joy. the word was "dry ice"

i excitedly go omgomgokayguysokay! it SUBLIMATES!!! =DDDD with my hands out in this wild gesture and my face all lit up in utter happiness. i mean. so easy right?

the expecting faces of my team suddenly drop into confused frowns and everyone goes in unison wtf does that mean?! my heart was broken. how could no one understand me. isn't this like...common sense? in disbelief, i had no choice but to hang my head and move on. perhaps this is something only obvious to opchemnelson conditioned peeps. or just plain geeks. le sigh.

ohwell. but anyways. after the festivities, a couple guys and i decide to randomly do laundry at 2...and then hang out in the suites at the end of the hall. there's more chilling and talking and a bit of drinking.

upon finishing laundry at around 4am, some dude who just came back from the apartments told us about the couch bonfire out on the street. apparently the fire got so big that the heat cracked the window of a nearby car. police arrived, there was a riot. um more chaos. there were also littler uscshirt burning ceremonies everywhere too.

anyways. at that point i'm just really warm and sleepy and quite ready to sleep so after tiptoeing around roomie's passedout visitors...almost stepping on one of the guy's head in the dark, i groggily climb into bed and passout myself.

that night i also learned that watermelon vodka tastes much better than the normal stuff. and that when you burp afterwards, you taste watermelon candy in your mouth. it's pretty trippy.


today(or tech yesterday), i woke up at noon feeling even more tired than the day before, and found around 10 missed calls on my phone and quite a few voice mails and was all shiz. goodgoing me.

tonight was also a lion dance social at an apartment which was yummy and fun. had a white elephant gift exchange. i was number 24 out of 24 peeps so i got the luxury (and curse?) of picking last. i decided to steal a present...my eye being on the book of interpreting dreams, small hockey game set, mindboggler game set, and...a little book of kama sutra. >:)

of course you can predict what i stole in the end (grin).

it was a good choice i feel. people now probably think me a pervert but. curiosity wins. actually, the person i stole it from probably wanted it more than i did and tried to convince me and everyone else that i was too young for it PSHA.

watched lion dance videos and played taboo too (yay taboo). it was good. absolutely no work whatsoever in ages. tired but relatively satisfied. still can't wait for winterbreak though.

dead week ahead w00t. free coffee anyone?

so kiss me goodbye

all-nighter semi-successful. stayed awake with no prob. of course, as 7:40am hit, i almost rushed off to math class without printing out my hw...and then i arrived just a bit late. in fact, right after the prof arrived (i know this because i...walked in right behind him).

after turning in the pset, i rushed outta class back up the fugging hill to finish my sad excuse of an essay. finished it a little early (most likely, i gave up). and decided to take a 30 min nap. with alarm clock in hand, i climb into bed and lose consciousness in a jiffy.

of course, my brain...already preconditioned to the amazing skill of erasing any memory of waking and turning off alarms whatsoever thanks to high school...left me finally waking up later with the realization that shiz ima be late to section. yuh. looking down at my watch, i realize i only have fifteen FIFTEEN fugging min to get to class. that's basically v. hard in ucla terms. or maybe i'm just slow.

i am literally 20 sec or so late to section...there's some stupid rule about papers being late right after section starts but um. i will throw a bitch if my paper loses a grade from that. anyways. look how well i handle college. i'm so afraid for next quarter.

just finished 2nd enrollement and thus enrollement as a whole. got a really late time rawrgh so now i will most likely have a new ta for sex class. hurts me something inside >:| ohwell. basically, i had no choice but to pack FOUR classes into my schedule. 2 of them being math and chem, classes with more time commitment. urgh. chem. ima die. tentative schedule:

actually. site maintenance. ima too tired to care. mebbe update later.

yesterday was the big parade/sc bonfire thingy. after watching our reshall/plaza's pitifully unsupported float followed almost immediately by the mass of hedrick hall residents (our beloved neighbor)and their fugging float, my floor basically sprinted down the hill to join in. feeling slightly stupid for being so spirited over nothing, i decided it was not bad since i got to go crazy and people didn't call me weird for doing so for once.

also was prolly on tv as well as the big screen they had set up at the bonfire quad. i still get embarrassed when people excitedly point out how they saw me in the parade. guess i was pretty insane though. i got so bored waiting for the parade to end that i totally flipped out and pummeled a friend with blow up air stick thingies in this really spastic way.

apparently a passing roughly 40 yr old woman was so appalled behind me that she gasped, held her hands to her mouth, and mouthed the words "oh my god!" guess her kids won't be attending ucla. or perhaps she was an alumni.

so then we had some random little band play...who no one listened to, some performances of dance and singing that no one cared about, and some awards handed out which started to anger people. afterall, we were there to see the frigging bonfire right

finally they're like w00t bonfire here we go! but nothing really happens besides lots of noise and screaming. people get roudy and start throwing their glow stick into the pit. after maybe 10 min of nothingness, red lights begin to illuminate the center and flickers of white light start. but that's it.

for the next 20 min. people are like wtf is going on and peeps start chanting "bullshit" and crap like that and then i make some comment like "haha look guys that's our bonfire. see the red is the fire and the flickering is the flames."

sad thing is. i was actually right.

something about windy conditions being dangerous. anyways. people are pissed, there is lots of cussing, lots of destroying banners and trashcans and such, a random dude who started minibonfires in the steet (it was actually kinda cool), and some other pissed peeps making their feelings public literally on some nearby trees.

i just wished i had followed my guts, put on a red shirt, and went to usc for the fray in concert. ohwell.

what else. so yuh. i wasted two hours of my fugging life for that. now i have to go again next year. afterwards was my allnighter fest. and today...was glorious after my last class was finished at 1. slept for maybe 3 hours till taiko, which kicked my ass earlier tonight. literally felt like jelly right after.

sweaty and gross, i rushed back to the room to wash up before movie and such with peeps, only to find i had less than 10 min to do so. figured i could make it and halfway in the shower i get a knock from my roomie going..."um like everyone is out in the hall waiting for you..." oops.

well it was all good. i was done shortly after and the peeps were nice enough to wait for me despite my request for them to go first. watched the featured 2 dollar movie, half nelson, a movie which i've wanted to see since the beginning of summer and am much satisfied now. it's a good movie. one which i appreciate for the subtle displays of how humans react and function that were hidden within. it's always better when things aren't made apparent. also good choice in music. the music producer also had a propensity towards broken social scene songs apparently.

this post is really long. and i really don't like it. and i'm really tired, running on a few hours of offset sleep in the past 40 hours or so. still feel like jelly. incoherency yay. eyelids are fugging heavy and losing consciousness as we speak.

used to be able to do this no sleeping deal with intense sports and classes all day. wow i'm getting old.