faith makes everybody scared

so what's happened recently in my life. not much really (that i'm willing to post here that is HA :P)...no. really. all i've been doing lately is...(drumroll)

eating.

youknow. comering...mangering...chi fan-ing. yes. i add english participles to all my verbs...no matter what language they're in.

and six flags was in all honestly...ohsowonderfullyexciting. i went on a total of zero rides because 1.) they looked too big. 2.) they sounded too loud. goes with the bigness. 3.) too lazy. 4.) some concept called time...and of course 5.) i was just too plain full from eating the whole time to even think about going on a ride.

so i just sat. and ate fries. lots of them.
ohyes. i also discovered the innovation (or not so much) of dippin' dots. or i think that's what they're called. yes. those little suckers are damn cold. they attacked my mouth even. like w00t i am small and deadly and frosty(thesnowman) and i will now cling to the sides of your mouth and induce frostbite! ....they taste strangely like really really cold frosting. and melt in the weirdest way.

and they cost $7.03

it killed me slowly inside. each "dot" was probably a cent. so when alex dropped one of his on the floor...it is understandable that i ordered him to pick it back up and eat it...even when it was already half melted and stuck to the concrete.

so i'm also reading ...or "reading" a book called indecision by benjamin kunkel about some bloke who...actually i'm not sure what he does or what the point is besides the fact that he's very indecisive or something. hence the name HA! how clever.

wait. what am i talking about again? ohyes. so i was reading it one day when i came across this line that made me laugh out loud in this really embarrassing way. it wasn't even really meant to be funny i don't think...lemme find it.

aha. it is as follows:

"'I still can't believe what you'll put in your mouth.' Her dad's various ambassadorial postings had caused her to be educated in all these British-run schools, and she pronounced can't like as in philosopher Immanuel Kant."

i guess the passage just kinda reminds me of the good ol' euro days when kinberg made fun of jeanine's accent. good times good times. something like this pops up to mind:

jeanine: well, he caan't unders-
kinberg: he caan't *chuckles*
jeanine: heyy!!
kinberg: hehehe! immanuel kaant. (puts on pretentious face) immaaanuel kaaant...
jeanine: wahhh it's not my fault i caan't say-
kinberg: CAAN'T!

oh the mockery XD

...okay. wow. i'm a dork.

as they search the night for someone to hold on to

today...or rather..yesterday
was a not-so-glorious day.

...like so many other days. alright. that was a good enough post for today. now i did have this whole attempt at a post despite my notsogloriousday (i usually refrain from posting stuffs that are, to the general public, uninteresting and burdening troubles...no need for further destruction of braincells in a world like today's, really)...but it didn't really work.

then all of the sudden i was struck by a bolt of lightening that rendered me instantly unconscious...at which point my heart stopped beating for a whole thirty minutes and i was rushed to the hospital admist a fury of confusion and the doctors were called in in the middle of the dead of night and had to perform some serious life-reviving procedures (aka some bit of old-fashioned, heavy-duty magic here and there...wands and everything). and upon waking, i found that my hair had all been fried off and now i am bald and finally a true hairless asian.

but not.

alright. so here's the real, more exciting version:

in the middle of typing my last sentence, a little message was sent from above and popped onto my computer screen reading something like: firefox has encountered an unexpected problem and will close immediately. sorry for any inconvenience. send a report? following chaos ensues in the world that is cassidy hsieh's mind. the end.

either way, i think obviously someone out there is trying to tell me something.

so you all got lucky this time. i am too tired to repeat it all. or rather...too tired to try to remember it all so that i may reproduce it. cost-benefit people, cost-benefit. i am only being practical here (or just plain lazy).

ohyes. and shamu apparently has a new show now:

me (11:57:02 PM): anything exciting
feeshballs (11:57:08 PM): no not at all
feeshballs (11:57:15 PM): shamu's new show isn't great
me (12:02:36 AM): hahaha
me (12:02:41 AM): i didn't know he had a new show
feeshballs (12:03:36 AM): I didn't either
feeshballs (12:03:44 AM): it's so cheeesy
me (12:08:27 AM): hahah what>
me (12:08:37 AM): there's a plot or something?
feeshballs (12:10:11 AM): it's called Believe
feeshballs (12:10:14 AM): 'nuff said

umm...yeahhh. that really was 'nuff said.

GASP OMG. i just realized i completely forgot to eat anything today till dinner. ahhhhhhwhat my world is collapsing right before my eyes. i must be dying. oh dysfunction! damn. told you it was a not-so-glorious day. 0_0

the sacrifice of hiding in the light

wow. haven't posted for almost a week. what a hiatus.

strangely enough, for some reason it feels as if i had done absolutely nada this past weekend when really, thinking back, i've managed to keep myself quite busy.

let's see now...what did i ever do...aha. that's right. so friday (stfu. i consider friday as the weekend) it was kinda like. heyyy i'm going to crash the acadeca finishing-phil-gore-shirt extravaganza...and it was totally awesome because i got to...iron shirts.

then it was off to the orange and purple party...or no. maybe the orange and blue party. no that still doesn't sound right. thinking...thinking..ohyes! i remember my atrocious hat now. my bad. it was the blue and pink party. yeah. so had fun making a fool of myself since i pretty much have no reputation to ruin. ah i bask in the glory of geekdom.

then off to kulzum's house...where the real party was at obviously. well. there were cookies. and lasagna. f00d. that's pretty much my kind of party right there. so there we did some intense chillin'. cause we're cool like that. quote of the night and forever: "i'm horny..." "OMG STAY AWAY FROM MY FOOT!" sorry kids. if you don't get it. you obviously are not worthy to. :P

so saturday i woke up with the sudden inspiration to...go shopping. yes i know. it's kinda wtf. so i went out to drop my sis off at chinese school with my mom... and we went like heavy duty shopping. i came back late afternoon with the realization that i am probably a shopping whore at heart. how embarrassing. i mean come on. probably more than 200 bucks spent the entire day on various items. most i've ever gotten in my entire life probably. yeah i agree. i do not know what was wrong with my head.

in addition. while shopping for some extra long twin bedsheets...i came to the strange conclusion that i want bedsheets for college that have....chickens on them. umyeahidon'tknoweither.

so my dad phones us in the middle of shopping and is like let's go eat! and i'm like okay!! i do not know why i was so willing this time. but it's okay cause then he was like tofupot! AND let's watch a movie like right after at 10pm or something! ...and i basically need to pee from all the excitement.

so everything's all good. but then we go see the da vinci code. at first it was like yay...but then the more i sat through the movie...the more weird paranoid thoughts began to penetrate my aimless mind. i pretty much was convinced that some religious madman was going to burst through the door and shoot everyone in the theatre shouting DIE OPUS DEI HATERS!!!*insert maniacal laughter and crazy gunshot sounds*

...so i began to slowly plan my route out of the theatre. youknow. just in case something did happen and all. to top it off. it really wasn't a very good movie either. i was more relieved than anything else when it was all over.

alright. so sunday. i wake up am like. omg dosomethingneeddosomethingrawr. so i begin contemplating a day at the park. or at a bookstore or something. then my parents are like redondo beach? and i instantly go YES!

and they think me weird. and then laugh at how i'm such a senior now. or something along those lines.

so we go. and there my sis and i go on this little pedal boat thingy for an hour or so. it was fun besides the fact that around halfway on our journey...as we were conveniently stuck in the middle of the frigging ocean...i noticed that the pedaling had gotten just a bit more strenuous. yeah. then i noticed that everytime i stopped pedaling...the entire boat stopped.

my sis swore she was pedaling. but she's a tricksy hobbitses yesss. so i told her to take her feet off the pedals and pedaled alone for a bit. curiously enough...it felt almost the same as when her feet were on the pedals. so then i threatened to push her overboard to relieve the boat of some weight, and she generously complied to help out a bit with the pedaling for our way back. the little devil.

that was pretty much my weekend. but i will continue cause i am addicted to procrastination.

so yesterday...i decided to go for a walk cause it was a nice day and all...and ended up at the park near school..oak canyon? i dunno. the one with the lake. it was closed due to earlier rain but i pretended to be a blind hobo and decided that if any policemen came to bother me i'd be like. eh?ilikepark!iliketrashcan! or something of the sort.

so i pretty much randomly sit and stare at the trees and such. it was very. er. transcedental. HA schultheis. okay. i'm sane really. then i go bother the duckies. except afterwards, when i went to sit down on a nearby bench...all the duckies came to attack me, and i had to pretty much plead for my life and prove that i had no food in me pockets.

if you actually believe i had to plead for my life. just know i am laughing at you. really hard.

yeah i get home finally after wasting 2 to 3 hours or so. =D
i'm very good at wasting time now. in fact, just earlier today...i decided to sit in my garage with the garage door open...because it was a nice day. but i wanted to create the illusion that i really wasn't going out but actually doing work at home...kinda (i had some fissicks lying untouched beside me on the floor). instead i pretty much just sat and ate a popsicle. and stared.

but then i got bored and started walking...without knowing or caring where i was going. i ended up in front of jeanine's house and came to the conclusion that she would be sleeping again. as usual.

so i start to talk to the window. of course, knowing from past experience with myself...this doesn't really work. especially when one is sleeping. the only thing i succeeded in doing was probably convincing the neighbors that i was some insane and possibly schizophrenic kid.

so now what do i do? i start chucking rocks at her window. but i don't think it really worked either. except. something moved. it was probably poor jeanine shoving her pillow over her head in annoyance at the persistent "plonk!"s at her window.

i am also probably ADD or something cause i became distracted by this bee. then i start staring at it. like closely. then i started thinking about how annoyed it probably was at me. and giggled.

then with my popsicle stick still hanging awkwardly out of my mouth...i begin walking again...once again with no real destination in mind.

yeah. fortunately, i eventually end up back home. and now i am here. contemplating another trip outside to absolutely nowhere cause i'm just really plain itchy or something.

le fin.

and still we dig these trenches

nothing happened much today. except a really excellent time.

so being seniors the school's like omg. we...don't wanna deal with you fuggers any longer so just come at 8:45 and we'll...bring you onto a school sanctioned trip in which we release you into the wilderness that is the beach for a few hours...just so we can fill up all our minimum being-in-school state requirements.

and we're like cool. whatever floats your boat youknow. no complaints.

now you think that being the ohsointelligentandexperienced senior that i am...my body would know the ways of ultimate laziness inside and out...to the point where it could automatically adjust to this new glorious condition of an 8:40 wakeuptime...but nooo.

after waking at 6 i proceeded to attempt going back to sleep every other 10 min after i'd wake up once again. my body is conspiring against me. so here i would say that it is just jealous of my intense hotness...but that wouldn't really work.

anyways. off to the beach. jeanine and i go insane. we sing bits of backstreet boys and 'n sync. we sing shake that ass. we hold our breathe in the tunnel. and then we sing my humps.

we arrive. there was much partying. there was no food. we die because there is no food. we dip our toes in the water. we state the obvious (omgcold!). we come back. we play football. we watch entertaining boychasegirlchaseboychasegirlkissinggame. i avoid ben in order to prevent the skin between my fingers from the atrocities of his frisbee. i feel bad because of this. but i figure that i would actually like to keep my skin on, thanks.

so the ride back was like the one to the beach. except homeschooledalex snuck onto our bus with us. which really confused doc. in the end he gave up with this humiliated look on his face going "okay, there's someone who is on this bus who wasn't before." it was hilarious. i couldn't stop laughing. god the cluelessness. it was classic (classic doc, that is).

jeanine and i were probably high off of something the whole day cause we decided to sing again the whole way back. we sang much franz ferdinand....attempted to sing britney spears but failed, and then sang my humps again to make up for it.

we hit home a bit past lunchtime, i go eat all of jeanine's food. then pretend i'm in acadeca again while "helping" jade and jeanine make shiz. then go to renee's to pretty much hang some more.

then i loaf around and wait for our tofupot party to start. alex picked renee and i up, and we chilled to some rap and pretended to be gangsta. eventually found our way to where the rest of the crew awaited us and entered the restaurant.

i have only one thing to say. it was...a fugging awesome dinner.

ohyes. and aloni can balance a frigging chopstick on his eyelashes. ...i didn't even believe the toothpick.

so i take andrew's car back to his house with megan. he has a nice car. it's a bmw. it smells nice...which is something cause i generally get sick from car smells. it has nice soft leather seats. it has cool neon blue and orange dashboard lights. a pretty smooth ride...(except for andrew's spastic braking manoevers here and there :P).

back at his place we party some more. play billiards (wait that's the name for the game that involves a pool table, right?), watch movies, talk...and attempt to wrestle alex. which...only succeeds in making him feel a bit stuffy of the room.

party comes to end. i don't want to go home. but i do anyways. and now i'm here. falling asleep.

whew. gosh. i keep re-discovering just how much energy it takes to socialize.

*yawn*


on a whole (randomly) different note. it still surprises me how bitter of a person i've become. bitter and hateful and resentful and generally just unsatisfied. wow. i feel fugly as shiz. it's like. look at my face!

this look like happy face?!
this not happy face!

oh, youtube. stop! you're a-killin' me.


ha. i lied. lots did happen today, see?
i do not know why i find this so amusing.

slow motion see me let go

it's a beautiful afternoon. one filled with much promise of freedom and frolicking...

and what am i doing. sadly sitting on my fat ass, listening to ap (no not the exam, the band, people, the band) down the street drown out the chirping of the birdies... and blogging. yay for today's promising youth.


i guess i'll take this time to give an overview of the disneyland band festival thing that was on saturday.

alright. so my ohhh...3 hour sleep is horribly interrupted by the beeping of my alarm clock at the unearthly hour 5:20 in the morning, but fortunately, i pretty much jump outta my bed with a w00t! because i only had gone to sleep a few hours before and thus hadn't reached rem sleep yet...

anyways. i get to school and the first thing i see is this yellow fugly piece of crap. i think it was supposed to be a school bus...but for like preschoolers. the seats were ten times too small for my ass...they could barely fit two of us each when the driver said they were supposed to be for 3 peeps each, and the seat belts were invading my personal privacy. and if my knees had faces, they would have pretty much been suffocated the whole time.

you still don't believe that yellow hunk of shit was for preschoolers? alright. well i'll just let you know that the windows were half normal size and twice as high up...probably so little kiddies can't jump out or whatever. and right above each seat was taped a piece of pink construction paper with various names. from all that, i think we can deduce that this bus was probably for little summer campers (who probably had accidents in the seats...ew.)

now. riding in that piece of shit was hell. especially since more than half the peeps i was sitting with were ...well now. how do i put this in nicer terms....little dickwads. literally. yeah. these weren't band geeks. these were...band idiots. eventually i succeeded in tuning out their wailing with my ipod (probably making myself deaf at the same time) and got a bit of shut eye.

apparently, i am informed later that the little fugidiots were trying to wake me up, but i had no idea.

yeah upon getting to fullerton college, where our wonderful "festival" was supposed to take place, we pass many other schools that had arrived in nice, big, airconditioned, coach buses. initially jealous, i quickly began to realize just how much shit we were in. these were probably schools that could actually play.

now once again the little shit behind me with fugly curly hair and sunglasses (that he probably thought made him look pwning...but actually just made him look blind) decided to start making racial slurs at this one school that had a larger percentage of hispanic peeps. something along the lines of ..."hey go back to mexico!" and "hey why do the mexicans get better buses than us."
i would have loved to have shoved him outside the window with nothing, but his probably-power-rangers-undies on, and seen him bawl like the little fuck that he was but instead...i decided that he'd be embarrassed enough later when those dudes pwned our band.

so we unload and concert band is up first. in a blur, we warm up and are led into this large auditorium with lights that shined magenta and yellow on us...it pretty much made me blind. then we play especially crappy. fortunately, we had the nicest of the judges come up to speak to us...he assured us that we were good at some things...just "needed a bit of work" on (a lot of) other things.

alright. so. in any other normal situation...i would've been home free at that point, but nooo i just had to take the place of francesca (hobo) in wind ensemble. now. first of all, i didn't get the music until maybe a month before...while the rest of the band had been practicing for maybe 3 or 4 months. secondly...come maybe three weeks before performance time, mr. young decides to start switching up parts...making franny (and thus me) do complicated manoevers from 2nd part clarinet back to 3rd and back again etc. rawrgh. thirdly, that retard (franny) neglected to copy me the last page of the last piece...which i found out with a disgusting shock, was the hardest fugging part of the entire piece, and finally, i had literally two class periods to play with the ensemble (specifically, twice for cappricio italien and four and a half times for yabagagawhateverchickenleghut).

not to mention that this year...being stuck in concert (suckass) band has lowered my intellect. killed braincells even.

you can imagine how badly i did. and to top it off. wind ensemble is tiny. as in lacking many instruments. thus...every person pretty much plays one distinct part (sometimes more than one at the same time) therefore...your mess-ups are pretty much nekkid out there.

unfortunately, the judge that came up this time was like heyyo you happened to choose to play my two most favorite pieces. nono, you think this is a good thing but no. it really wasn't.

he continued. yeah now the problem is balance (well no shit, sir, we ain't got even a fugging tuba). yes. you guys chose pieces that were too hard and required 2384938 instruments when you had like 9.

he said this in such a nice manner...but we experienced his inner wrathe when he commenced in making us...sing. yes sing. yeah. it was kinda wtf. you terrible soul. okay. i sing...through my instrument alright? this is probably why i play an instrument. or else i would be in the frigging choir.

after the torture, we rushed to get changed and then it was off to disney!
oh. and by the way. we found out that most bands there..were middle schoolers. and yes, they pwned us.

of course not after another short (hellish) bus ride with the same curlyhaired idiot sitting behind me again. this time he was pretty much like ohyeah i am teh shit. i am so fugging awesome so i will be an asshole cause i think it makes me look cool. so what does this kid do? he starts sticking his head out the window and shouting "how much do you want?" to ladies walking on the streets and some random spanish to people who had darker colored skin than he did (which was pretty much everyone cause his was translucent).

then one dude flicked him off and he got so excited he almost shit in his pants and shouted over my head "DUDE THAT GUY JUST FLICKED ME OFF HAR HAR HAR *SNORT*" finally one of his friends decided to respond. "maybe cause you're acting like an asshole." i would've been more satisfied if his head was decapitated by an oncoming truck but whatever works.

****

we get to disney (california adventure)...and we binge. cause we're spoiled little kids and can't go more than an hour without some grub. i go searching for fishsticks despite the rule that all peeps must be with at least two other peeps at all times.

we go on some rides, tire of the place and decide to go to disneyland. while we were coming out of adventure, there was a line so you could get your hand stamped... but most decided to pass. i, on the otherhand, was like omg it's NEON AND GREEN so i got one just for kicks.

good thing too. half of our group was later trapped outside disney for a bit cause they didn't have stamps on their hands. finally after much debating and waiting, the guards were like >:0000 you no read fine print!!! RAWR. and we were like. does anyone read fine print? ever???

we have a blast, eat a lot, sit on our lazy bums a lot...and somewhere in the middle, i converted aloni and ben into space mountain fans. i was pleased =D

later, we also bumped into some choir folks and were like heeeyyyy!! ...and then ran away shortly after because we had to attend the stupid awards ceremony for the festival.

i was shocked by what i saw at the ceremony. i never knew bands could be so...spririted. like. they had chants and everything. it scared me. then we found out that most were from across the country...new york, washington, texas, etc. yeah. serious folks. and the introduction of all our band conductors became a shouting contest between the bands. we sucked cause we...had like no people...comparatively.

at first i was pissed. cause we were missing BOTH showings of fantasmic. but then they let us see the fireworks...which sedated me a bit. plus i was fugging tired at that point.

finally, they began passing out awards and our band decided to take a nap. cause being realistic here...we weren't going to get shiz.

WRONG.

yes you read right. i had already drifted off when very slowly the words "oak park" penetrated my blank mind. kinda like ...haha that's funny i thought i just heard oak pa-ER???

i jerked awake and so too apparently did the rest of the band cause there was a split second of hesitation...and then a weak yayy..err?w00t?? then we all gathered in a stunned circle...trying to make of what we just heard.

apparently all of our bands (concert, wind, and jazz) got something. and concert beat wind. strange shiz.

after much confusion and laughter from the sheer obsurdity of the situation...we came to the conclusion that there were only two schools in our division...and we had two bands (thus taking 3rd and 2nd place) and the other school (which was a middle school by the way) had one band (taking up 1st place). ohyes. and the judges hated wind ensemble simply because there weren't enough instruments, thus putting wind ensemble after concert band.

finally, the ceremony came to an end (which i thanked whoeverisupthere for), and they were like now you band geeks can party!!! and blasted loud dance music.

it was around 10:40 and the last fantasmic show started at 10:30, and we had absolutely no desire to stick around and see band peeps freak to hip hop music, so we ran out of there. fast.

almost like the wind too!...except for the fact that my pants were coming off so i had to hold on to them as a ran. and i screamed like a madwoman goin' OMG MICKEY IM COMING TO SAVE YOU!!...i also hit a man on the way who was like wtf.

thanks to our mad manoevering skillz we totally got there just in time when mickey was just about to fight the dreaded dragon of death. and so with his trusted fanclub finally there...luckily, he made it...even if barely. and then we got to dance with him. it was pretty amazing.

afterwards, we loafed around a bit more till closing time and then loaded back onto the tiny bus once again. i managed to konk out on the way and woke up near home with my nose embarrassingly high in the air and my mouth open so wide someone could have probably stuck a baseball into it.

we arrived back at 2:15 am. ...and ben lost one of his shoes. how do you only lose one??
well, eventually he finds it and we all break off for home.

as you can see, it was a long day.

so who's gonna watch you die

too lazy to write about band and disney and shiz. sooo i took a test stolen from jeanine's site. again. my life is so exciting.


Blind Faith
You scored -1 constructivenes, 6 selflessness, 11 loyalty, and 6 supportiveness!

Vindictive, giving, loyal, and supportive, you are Blind Faith. You know who you love, and you will defend them to the death -- even if they're wrong. Like, 100% wrong. Is this good? On the one hand, your friends probably feel they can rely on you completely. On the other hand, are you really helping them grow?

Your loyalty is admirable, so please don't change that. But if you disagree with something a friend does or says, it might behoove you to say so. You could broaden their thinking, and there's also a good chance they'll respect your opinion, since they know you have their best interest in mind. Also, by making your own opinions clearer, you'll be more likely to attract people who value those opinions.

From: The 4-Variable Friendship Test


=( why is there so much fissicks?? rawrgh i wanna go frolick in the sun.
...uhoh. i'm feeling pangs of sleepiness again...and i only woke up at 1:30...pm

she only drinks coffee at midnight

i've hit a new low. being the boredidiot that i am now, i've decided to revive my livejournal as well just so i can waste more time each day instead of doing ohhh... maybe something more useful like attempting to get re-acquainted with the tv again.

problem is i don't really wanna make myself do any more thinking than i have to. so guess what i decide to do.

post song lyrics. yes. like emo people *hangs head*. told you i've hit a new low.

hey. i figured it takes minimal effort and it's easy, fast, brainless, and, most importantly, time consuming.


rawr. i also wanna play with jade's (exclusive) stanney "poetry board" right now. it's pretty awesome. it has like word magnets but...on the comp. and you can make your own labels like "buttsexville" (and then stick them at the top of the site under the "welcome" link so it reads "welcome to buttsexville").

why do i not have a poetry board? i feel this is stifling my creativity. *pouts*

ohyes. and mr. hairyborgy was pretty fugly today.

these implements and text designed by intellects

who knew throwing a football back and forth on various parts of campus during lunch and 7th could be so fun. the sad and geeky staying-on-campus-despite-being-of-the-only-class-that-is-allowed-to- have-offcampus-lunch has finally begun to pay off ...ah the things you discover as an aimless senior.

so while reading my current month's edition of wired, i came across these neo-green dudes who are like w00t environment and all that shiz and found out about these shoes. that are recycled. from old military equipment and crap.

conveniently enough, i am also, at this current moment, in a sudden frenzied state of wanting to get some shoes. really badly. please don't ask why. hell, i don't even know why. but i just do. so i looked these crazy shoes up on the internet.

now being the asian(-jew) that i am, what is the first thing i check? the price, of course. first thing i see hurts my head...but only slightly. kinda like how a mild shock is applied to your temples via electrodes and stuff (i'd imagine). 65. well alright, i thought slowly after i recovered...and i began the process of manipulating myself into thinking that it was actually an okay price.

it couldn't be that bad right. afterall, it's not a popular shoe, new starting-up design/idea, and hell, it's supporting the green effort...it's actually a pretty good deal for a shoe like that...and i went on, pinpointing every plus..repeatedly. comeon it's really like benefiting society, and damn it's made in the uk where they have cool accents and stuffs---

then it hit me. like holdon. it's. made. in. the. united...kingd-

i couldn't even get my mind to finish the sentence. i braced myself and looked up...and my eyes almost burned out. 65...

fugging. euros.

recalling the trip to london in soph year...i calculated exchange rates..plus damn shipping and crap and estimated. in my head (god i'm so economically saavy). i came to around 100 or so but then i checked it up just to be sure i didn't overestimate (which i was direly hoping i did). but no.

120. yes. 120. 120 frigging dollars.

and i'm not even sure if that's with shipping (across the frigging atlantic ocean) costs.
yes. i almost keeled over. and now, i am sad. my face looks like this: =(
sigh. and now after all that self-manipulation into why those shoes are just plain awesome...coupled with the fact that i can't have them even more now...makes me want them twice as much. plus. they're green (colored). that, sadly enough, is probably the most attractive feature to me.

alright, alright so i'll also admit that according to semiotic shit...they most likely possess entities that are different and futuristic and probably represent something about status and beliefs. and their naturally worn-down and crappy look probably also says something. god, i damn you, fuglyhairman, to hellberg.

rawr. why am i so asian.

hrm... then again. they still aren't too expensive right? heh heh
i mean.


...just think about gas prices.

the stale taste of recycled air

...hahah. just got back from talking for an hour with jeanine and aloni and sharon outside in front of sharon's house (which is right across from mine)...in jeanine's car.

yeah. it went down like this.

clock: heybitch it's midnight. get your lazy ass goin' on teh fissicks! >:0
me: blog blog blog facebook! blog blog
raquel (IM): hey cassidy!
(insert jolly little chat)
raquel: yeah...bowling was fun...hey they might be right outside your house now.
me: *looks outside...it is pitch black*
...darn. nope.
cell phone: VIBRATE (ha. caught your attention didn't i? :P)
me: 'ello?
jeanine: cass! we're outside your house.
me: *way too excited for my own good*
...hey raquel...you're right...*runs off outside and crashes the party that is jeanine's car*
yo.
(insert some mad gossip, random talk, and just a damngoodtime...1 a.m. hits)

sharon's dad: *opens door*
sharon: hi dad!
sharon's dad: (omg. there's a boy in the car.) time to come in.

so it went down from there with sharon popping out just a few minutes later and talking to us from her window and offering us (through her parents) to go in and have some supper...yes. at one in the morning. then we chilled in the car for a bit more and it was cool because there was no fissicks involved.

the atrocities of realization returned at 1:15 am as jeanine's hour(+)-long carpooling service came to an end with aloni's wise words in response to my omg! need study!: hey, no it's time to sleep.

i personally agree with that. only because i'm still in denial that my d00m is...tomorrow.

...and after all this incessant chattering, i STILL haven't done a thing. ohdamnohdamnohdamn.

in the back of my grey subcompact

OMFG SOMEONE MAKE ME STUDY FOR THE FISSICKS THAT IS D00M!!!

yes. instead of doing actual studying once again...i cleverly distracted myself into two fugging hours of youtube browsing when i very well could have used that time wisely by going bowling (still not studying) with some very awesome peeps. ARGH. (STOPRIGHTTHEREIMNOTADDICTEDTOYOUTUBE>:0)

anyways. came across this guy who does the most frigging amazing reenactments evahhh. i feel he should become a comedian or something. but yeah. this guy can make anyone who even attempts imitations cringe in shame at the mere thought of attempting an imitation...wait. does that make sense?

yuh. his site has all of his reenactments on one handy page except for maybe his latest one from "uncle buck." anyways. check him out. it's pretty damn good. i guarantee it (unless of course you opt to come after me with a shotgun if it proves otherwise..in which case i ask that you do not come within 2349546 miles of me ever during this lifetime or the next... or the next).

ohdamn. i have never felt so unprepared for anything in my entire life. i am, in all honesty, scared shitless.

all of the things that i thought were so easy

w00t! found a meme thing on jeanine's site. therefore what is the natural course of action? copy it of course!

1. Name: cassidy
2. Do you like it?: it’s not too shabby.
3. Nick-names: um. See top of this site. (most commonly cass)
4. Screen names: ydissac218
5. Age: 18yo
6. Birthday: 2/18/88
7. Sign: aquarius/dragon
8. Location: the op suckas
9. Job: discouraged worker
10. Status: picking my nose obviously.

FAMILY:
1. Parents: are annoying sometimes.
2. Siblings: my little sis, jessie.
3. Live with: my family maybe?
4. Favorite relatives: my “black sheep cousin” (as jade deems her)

FAVORITES:
1. Number: 5
2. Color: greeeeeeen!!
3. Day: hrm. probably Friday.
4. Month: december
6. Movie: i’ll just pick one. the lion king.
7. Food: meat. and meat. and …yeahmeat. oh. ice cream’s pretty good.
8. Band: death cab for cutie (fav song: tiny vessels)
9. Sport: this question is too hard.
10. Class: animation
11. Teacher: nelson/pawloski/labnow/harms
12. Drink: hole-in-one/ beanscene blast
13. Veggie: broccoli, if I must.
14. TV station: used to be discovery/national geo
15. Radio station: I only use it to plug in my ipod.
16. Store: perhaps barnes and noble/amoeba music…if only it was closer
17. Expression: “constipated” face.
18. Animal: dog.
19. Flower: wtf. there are different kinds?

PICK ONE
1. Me or you: you (are not as hott as me)
2. Coke or pepsi: pepsi
3. Day or night: night
4. AOL or AIM: …I didn’t know there was a difference
5. CD or cassette: cd
6. DVD or VHS: dvd
7. Jeans or khakis: khakis
8. Car or truck: car
9. Tall or short: short! (hobbit)
10. Lunch or dinner: dinner
11. N*sync or BSB?: n’sync baby
12. Gap or Old Navy: gap
13. Lipstick or lipgloss: ew. do I have to.
14. Silver or gold: silver looks prettier
15. Alcohol or weed: meth. hahah. no. i’m joking. really.

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
1. Do you have a bf/gf?: alright…i can tell this is going to be bad
2. Do you have a crush?: yup. i’m right.
3. How long have you liked him/her: je ne sais pas.
4. Why do you like this person?: i didn’t know i did
5. If you're single, why are you single?: i hate you.
6. How long was your longest relationship?: with a passion.
7. How long was your shortest relationship?: that has no limit.
8. Who was your 1st love?: oh fug off.
9. What do you miss about them?: what’s there to miss.

THE PAST:
1. What is the one thing you would change about your past?: probably some stuffs
2. What is the biggest mistake you've made in your life?: not communicating
3. Last thing you heard: airplane passing by
5. Last thing you said: "run like the wind, jade!"
6. What is the last TV show you saw?: ermmm…I guess something my sis was watching.
7. What is the last song you heard?: remedy - seether

THE PRESENT:
1. What are you wearing?: articles of clothing.
2. What are you doing?: probably answering your damn question.
3. Who are you talking to?: myself. in my head. :P
4. What song are you listening to?: if she wants me – belle & sebastian
5. Where are you?: my room probably.
6. Who are you with?: my lover. no, you dipshit. it’s just me, myself and i.
7. Are you online?: probably not IM
8. How are you feeling?: like school should’ve been over a ways back.
9. Are you in a chatroom?: no

FUTURE:
1. What day is it tomorrow?: saturday
2. What are you going to do after this?: it is a nice day for a stroll in the park i feel.
3. Who are you going to talk to?: probably a friend
4. Where are you going to go?: outside i suppose. i told you already.
5. How old will you be when you graduate?: same age i am now?
6. What do you wanna be?: okay, hopefully
7. What is one of your dreams?: to own a pink elephant.
8. Where will you be in 25 years?: hopefully not dead from a car crash

OTHER:
1. Do you write in cursive or print?: print. doubt you can tell though.
2. Are you a lefty or a righty?: lefty (and righty-in-training)
3. What piercings do you have?: owwww!!
4. Do you drive?: too much.
5. Do you have glasses or braces: glasses. had braces before.

we are building a religion, a limited condition

you never realize just how drastically one popsicle can lower the temperature of your entire body until you eat one when your body temp. is already low to begin with. that's true for ice cream and any other cold shiz as well. see, now i can go into this whole thing on relativity and crap buuut...i'm simply just too lazy to bother.

so afterschool ms. pawloski wondered aloud...how long have you been in animation. and i was like ohwhat? me? huh. i dunno. and then it started bothering us cause neither of us could figure it out, and so i, with my stubborn(ly wonderful) nature, declared in finality, by god! i will find out tonight!

and i did. strange thing is that the transcript tells me that i've pretty much had animation, with all the classes combined together, back-to-back, only for about two years (including this year)...when it really feels like i've had it all through high school. i guess that happens with a spotty on-and-off schedule.

to elaborate on just how messed up my schedule has been...*cue crazy flashback sound effect* it started in soph year (though for some reason, i was convinced this afternoon that i started in freshman year...which would have been pretty much impossible) when i took beg. anim. after summer school comp. app. and then adv. anim. I the same year. i in fact did not take animation at all last year cause of my retarded schedule. so i suppose i loitered around a bit and pretended i was actually in the class when i really wasn't...creating the illusion in my dillusioned world that hey. i'm actually still taking it! it kinda worked too cause i tampered around a bit with my, at that time, unfinished calvin and hobbes modeling proj... on my crappy version of maxon at home (don't ask how i got it).

so came end of last year and i was like wahhhh! i want animation! *throw tantrum* and so pawloski was awesome and was all don't worry. i'll work the system and you'll be in. and behold. i'm in. kinda. well alright. so i'm actually in multimedia. but my transcript says animation. same difference right? it's great. i do independent projects (aka play games) and people wonder wtf is that girl doing. and they are jealous. *is paul* it's glorious. =D

then again i am a bit miffed that i never got to work on the adv. animation class's huge collaborative project...which apparently features a factory that converts penguins into three-legged dogs or something of that sort. come on. honestly, what else can possibly be better than that. (i've seen short segments and stills of it. it is, in all honesty, frigging amazing.)

yeah. it would've been cool to see what it was like to work like a real animator...working on bits and pieces and then working together to merge them all together in the end. but. whatev.

anyways, i think the main reason i'm thrown off by my history in animation is cause i keep forgetting that i actually skipped adv. anim. II cause over my one year hiatus, the school changed the frigging animation courses, in effect making them into adv. anim. I/II and adv. anim. III/IV...sooo pawloski was like hell with that, you're doing III/IV...and i was like heyyo that's fiiine with me!

sooo reaaally...all in all, i haven't earned my status as an animator. but i just like to think that i have. why i tell you this useless information? i have no clue.


my posts always come out too long. i personally think it is just because they are not fat enough. yes. i said fat. as in...how would one go about widening the borders, eh?

the space in which we travel in

ohshiiite!

larry the white hair has decided to beat the odds once again and return from the dead!!
what perseverance! what strength! what courage!

...omg. i'm insane.
but i'll just blame it on the time...and the calc exam. which raped me. repeatedly...for 4 hours.

but yes. he's growing back. slowly but surely. watch out all arm hairs of the world! larry's comin' back!

stfu. it's not gross! >:0 ...YOUR MOM is gross. erm. i don't feel very coherent at the moment. i'm probably not. perhaps i shall wake up in the morning and wonder. wtf was i thinking.

butthenagain what else is new?

filtered water and pictures of you

alright. i just finished my potato salad sandwich. and i'm bored. and at school. fortunately, they haven't blocked this site yet cause it's obviously not popular enough and therefore dangerous to the high school public at large. and i'm really happy now cause i found a site for that ninja game i'm addicted to that isn't blocked (i linked it under "crazyshiz.")...and thus can waste even more time in animation class. i guess i won't be able to finish my project now. shame.

so i've developed this really bad habit of needing to consume my breakfast as well as lunch and everything in between during both my 1st and 2nd period classes...i'm even lucky now if i make it to french class with some crumbs left to injest some more. worst thing is. once i run out of food, i move on to the next best thing: sleep.

mrs. vaughn used to be a bit peeved with it but i think she mostly finds it comical now. kinda like how mr. young laughs at me when i'm sleeping on my music stand, and i'm like stfu. it's zero period.

yeah mrs. vaughn pretty much makes fun of me every class. here are some of her comments:

- aww look cassidy's awake. poor baaaby you always look so sleepy! (after coming back from fire drill...i slept on the bars of the gate and the ground by the library parking lot)
- cassidy, you need to stop sleeping.
- cassidy. wake up.
- do you ever do anything other than sleep?
- you're always so sleeepy!
- cassidy, are you doing your worksheet? no, you're not. that's right, you never do anything but eat and sleep.
- how much sleep do you get? you don't sleep. you need to sleep more.
- what do you have there? you're whole breakfast?
- oh. you're eating again.
- cassidy, you need to eat more breakfast! (i replied that i was!)
- you're going to gain 240 lbs. because all you ever do is eat and sleep. (yes she said 240)
- oh it's you again. i was over there and i knew i smelled corn nuts. i should've known it was you. with your food. eating again.
- (talking to class) you guys probably don't realize just how important it is for you guys to get some rest before the exam becaaauuse you really can't think when you're sleepy. you also can't think when you're hungry *looks at me*

to think of it...mrs. langley also made fun of me for sleeping in class...even after she forgot my name. yeah. like during that cat/sat9/star/theyneedtostopchangingthestupidtestname testing last year. she was all sigh! you're still sleeping. and then just a month ago she passed by and went hey! you're not sleeping!...either this is just a math teachery thing to do or...i just sleep a lot in math class.

i take that back. ms. lory didn't really make fun of me...and i literally slept right under her nose... she actually defended me from those guys who complained about my sleeping habits. they threw pencils and spit balls at my head. whatever. they were just jealous of my intense hotness. obviously.

god. i'm so cool. :P